The Story That Started Everything

When I asked Brigham to explain customer service, he didn't give me a textbook definition. Instead, he told me about a recent training at Woodfin, a heating and cooling company in Richmond, Virginia with over 100 technicians and 20 people answering phones.

What made this training different was a complete shift in how they thought about professionalism. Woodfin had been taught to never say negative words, period. Even when customers were explaining negative situations, the CSRs were trained to avoid negative talk and stay above it.

The problem? They came across as completely apathetic.

"For the sake of professionalism, you're not meeting them where they are from an emotional standpoint," Brigham explained.

He gave me an example that made it click. If a customer says "this sucks" on the phone, most CSRs would avoid that language completely. But Brigham's approach? Say it right back to them.

"You know what? You're right. That does suck. What did you just do? You met them where they are emotionally," he said. "You meet them where they are emotionally. They feel cared about and you can lift them up."

Your Goal Is to Be Their Friend, Not Professional

This is where Brigham really challenged everything I thought I knew about customer service. He told the story of his son Isaac who was dating a girl, they broke up, and she told him he could kiss whoever he wanted except certain girls. Isaac made a video of himself kissing one of those girls and showed it to his ex-girlfriend. She smacked him across the face at an event.

When Brigham shared this story in training, everyone in the room immediately responded with "where does she live? That was so wrong!" That's a negative response. And it was also the right response.

"Your goal is to be their friend, not necessarily professional, their friend," Brigham explained. "And that's what friends do. Friends meet people where they are emotionally."

This hit me hard because it's so different from what we're taught. We're told to be professional, use proper language, avoid negativity. But friends don't do that. Friends meet you where you are.

"Saying things like, wow, that's not good. Negative perhaps. Perhaps. And it's accurate. It's appropriate. And it's right," Brigham said.

I brought up that my mom is a counselor, and Brigham immediately connected it. Counseling 101 is meeting people where they are emotionally. Every phone call with a customer should be cheap therapy. They need to feel that you care and that connection.

The First 50 Seconds Changes Everything

In the beginning of a phone call, customers have specific emotional needs. They want to feel understood. They want to feel cared about. And they want to feel reassured they've called the right place.

This is why a CSR should never start a call with "where are you located?" or "what's your address?" Those questions might be important later, but they completely miss what the customer needs emotionally in that moment.

Think about what the customer is feeling. They're frustrated. They're not sure how much this will cost. Maybe they were planning to go to Disney and now this happened, so they're not even sure they can still go.

"They're not feeling positive emotions in the beginning of that phone call. And so you want to meet them where they are emotionally," Brigham said. "You got to show them that you're listening. Tell me more about that. What's going on? So you've been dealing with this for the last couple days. Oh my gosh, that's atrocious. That's me caring, right? Well, look, you've called the right place. We can definitely help you with that. That's me reassuring."

Do those three things in the first 30 to 50 seconds, and everything changes. They like you. And if they like you, it doesn't matter as much if you can't come out today instead of tomorrow. The dispatch fee doesn't matter as much. It could be $500 to come out and they won't care if they like you.

"Every time you drive up to a Chick-fil-A and you've got to wait, you don't care. And you don't care that Chick-fil-A is twice as much as McDonald's because of the experience they created," Brigham said.

The Power of Storytelling

Something I noticed immediately about Brigham is that he answers every question with a story. Not facts, not bullet points. Stories. And they're incredibly powerful.

When I asked him about it, he explained that we are each other's learning material. We learn from experiences, and sharing those experiences is how he retains information and teaches others.

"I write books for two reasons. Number one, I want to get clear on what I'm learning day in and day out. And number two, I want to be very good at articulating those things that I've learned," he explained.

But there's a deeper reason. Brigham had a mentor named Paul Rogers who died at 56. When Brigham tried to find recordings of his training, he couldn't find anything. It was a travesty.

"I promised myself after that experience that I would make sure that my kids and my friends knew where I stood, knew where I was coming from," Brigham said. "Anytime they wanted to, they could go on to YouTube and type in Brigham Dickinson and they could hear where I'm coming from. Anytime they wanted to, they could grab one of my books, open it up to any page, and see who I am as a person."

This resonated with me because I recently gave a speech at a pest control conference. I hit them with facts and action items, but when I reflected with my mentor afterward, he told me the most important thing is starting and ending with stories. That's how you bring the audience in, keep them engaged, and meet them emotionally.

Facts don't stick. Stories do.

Brigham confirmed this with an example from an event in San Diego. He got stuck on the tarmac, barely made it to the venue, ran in, got mic'd up, and went straight on stage. During his presentation, he shared a story about his son Isaac's wrestling match where Isaac lost in the final seconds, threw his shoes and singlet in the trash, and walked out of the tournament.

"The one thing that they remembered, the audience remembered was that story," Brigham said. "They said, as soon as you started talking about your son, I was completely 100% engaged. I was in it. I was there with you."

The Pattern for Excellence Framework

Most sales systems teach steps. Say this, then this, then this. The problem is they get convoluted and confusing. You forget where you are in the process, or you follow it perfectly and the customer still doesn't move forward.

Brigham's approach is different. Instead of teaching processes and applications, he teaches principles. Truths. The Pattern for Excellence is a set of truths that, when applied, create the right outcome.

"I've been taught that when you teach correct principles, people tend to govern themselves really well," Brigham explained.

Here's what makes this powerful: we all read self-help books but don't apply them. A study of behavior isn't good at changing behavior. But a study of truth is incredibly effective at changing behavior because it also teaches the correct consequence.

The Pattern for Excellence consists of eight core truths:

Positivity attracts people. Everyone knows this, but it's not common practice because when life happens and adversity hits, we do what's easy instead of what's right.

Preparation inspires confidence. If you're well-prepared, you'll be confident when you interact with customers. Brigham's team uses AI to provide practice sessions so CSRs can make mistakes in practice, not on real calls.

Understanding invites connection. This is where you show customers you understand by meeting them emotionally, showing you care, and reassuring them they called the right place.

Empathy validates worth. You're saying they're right to feel that way, even if it's negative. People want to feel worthy and accepted.

Assurance builds trust. Customers don't know they've called the right place, so reassuring them builds trust.

Asking encourages action. When you ask "when would you like us to come out?" you get them thinking about you coming out instead of asking for a ballpark price over the phone.

Value creates commitment. You don't need tangible free items to create value. You are the value. The energy you bring to the conversation, like Chick-fil-A does, is what matters.

Gratitude reinforces unity. When you say thank you, you're saying they made a difference. When people feel important, they become loyal, and price doesn't matter as much.

"That's the pattern for excellence. That's how you create wow experience after wow experience after wow experience," Brigham said.

Logic and Emotion Both Matter

I asked Brigham about the balance between logic and emotion in sales. Most people say customers buy with emotion and justify with logic. But Brigham's take was more nuanced.

He asked me: from a marketing standpoint, is it mostly science or mostly art? I said art, but then realized it's really both.

"You need both. You need common sense. But it's also an art because you're working with people and your ability, your EQ, your emotional intelligence," Brigham explained. "There's a ton of science there for sure, but there's also a ton of art."

The Pattern for Excellence teaches that emotional intelligence. It's not just natural ability - it can be taught through principles and practice.

What a Perfect Call Actually Looks Like

I wanted to make this practical, so I asked Brigham to walk me through exactly what a successful call looks like from start to finish.

It starts the same every time: listen, show you care, reassure them they called the right place.

Customer: "I want a ballpark price."

CSR: "Great. Tell me more about your situation. What's going on?"

Customer: "I've got this air conditioner and it's blowing hot air."

CSR: "My gosh, that's terrible. How long's it been doing that?"

Customer: "Last couple of days."

CSR: "Wow. So you've been dealing with this for two days now."

Customer: "Yeah, I really need to get it fixed. My wife is really getting frustrated. I've got a son. He's 4 months old. He cannot go without AC."

CSR: "Totally understand. And look, we want to make sure things go really well at home. So you've called the right place. We can help you. When would you like us out?"

Notice what happened there. The CSR showed they were listening, expressed empathy for the situation, and reassured them before asking when they wanted service.

If the customer pushes back asking for a ballpark price again, you create value: "It's a great question. Here's what we do. What we do is we send out a comfort advisor. He comes out. He takes a look at the situation. He determines exactly what you need. He'll do a heat load calculation, make sure the system size is right, and he'll give you a price while he's there. When would you like us out?"

And if they push back a third time, you handle the objection logically: "Mr. Jones, if I were to give you a price over the phone right now, and we come out and give you a different price, are you going to be happy with that? See, that's just it. It would be absolutely irresponsible for me to give you a price over the phone. We're not going to do that. What we want to do is give you an accurate price. And in order to give you an accurate price, we've got to do a heat load calculation."

The goal isn't just to book the call. The goal is to wow that customer to the point where you're 911. There's no 912. You're the only one going out to their home.

What Most Companies Are Doing Wrong

I asked Brigham how this differs from what most companies do. His answer was revealing.

Most companies ask for an address right away. They try to figure out where you're located. They use the word "unfortunately" a lot. They say no, we can't, we don't, there's no way.

"When people say the word unfortunately, what they're saying is you're not fortunate. Essentially, we're saying you're not lucky," Brigham explained.

These "not to say" phrases happen naturally. People don't even realize they're using them. Brigham's goal is to replace what not to say with what to say, in accordance with the Pattern for Excellence.

Initially, his team gives CSRs scripts to start with. But the ultimate goal is mastering the pattern, the principles, the truths. And when they do it right, CSRs start applying these principles not just with homeowners, but with their peers, their boss, and even their kids at home.

"You can't spank your kids anymore. You've got to sell them," Brigham said with a laugh. "The biggest most important sale you ever make is the sale that you make with your spouse and with your kids on a regular basis."

Lessons from the Greatest Salesman

Near the end of our conversation, I asked Brigham about something I'd heard in another podcast - his connection between sales skills and the Bible. As a Christian myself, I was curious about what he's learned.

His answer was profound: "The greatest salesman on the planet is Jesus Christ. If you want to be good at selling, influential selling, and this isn't about manipulation, this isn't about control, it's the opposite, the more you study his words and apply them in your own life, the more effective at selling you'll become."

Brigham shared about Easter and the Garden of Gethsemane, where Christ took upon himself our sins and pains. The pain was so overwhelming that he asked God to let the cup pass. But he finished with "not my will but thine be done."

God sent an angel, essentially saying there is no other way.

"What that teaches us is that in our own adversities, our own difficulties where we have to hug a cactus, so to speak, or suck a lemon or embrace the suck, that is how we learn. That is how we grow. And sometimes there is no other way," Brigham explained.

We learn from obstacles and opposition. We are each other's clinical material. Those difficult moments, like his son's wrestling match where Isaac lost and threw his equipment in the trash, those are the moments where we learn.

There is no other way.

My Main Takeaway

The biggest lesson from talking to Brigham is that professionalism is overrated. What customers actually need is someone who meets them where they are emotionally, not someone who stays professionally distant.

When a customer says "this sucks," the professional response is to avoid that language and stay positive. But the right response? "You're right. That does suck." Because that's what a friend would say. That's meeting them emotionally so you can lift them up.

The Pattern for Excellence isn't a script or a checklist. It's a set of truths about human behavior and emotion. Positivity attracts people. Understanding invites connection. Empathy validates worth. Assurance builds trust. These aren't tactics - they're principles that create the right outcomes when applied correctly.

Most companies are asking for addresses, using words like "unfortunately," and trying to stay professionally above the customer's emotional state. They're doing it all wrong. The goal isn't to be professional. The goal is to be their friend, show them you care, and become the only company they'll ever call.

Brigham has trained over 1,250 CSRs using this approach, and his after-hours service converts nearly every incoming call. The framework works because it's based on truth, not steps. And when you teach people truth instead of behavior, they govern themselves better and apply it everywhere - with customers, with coworkers, and even at home with their families.

If you want to dive deeper into the Pattern for Excellence and hear more of Brigham's powerful stories, definitely check out the complete episode.

Want to learn more from Brigham? Visit powersellingpros.com to schedule a free demo and customize a training program for your CSRs and sales staff. Text the word HAPPY to 385-247-3714 to get a free happy call script for when calls aren't coming in. You can also connect with Brigham on LinkedIn and Facebook.

Listen to the full episode to hear more of Brigham's insights on customer service, storytelling, and why meeting customers emotionally converts more calls than staying professional ever will.